Sunday/Monday

After posting my previous entry, I stayed up through the night reading (I think). Clint was working on his project for his film class, so he stayed up too, and we got bagels at 6:45 A.M.. I dropped Clint off and went to work out for the first time in a few weeks, as I had been sick and wanted my body to recuperate before starting up again (I could have started a bit earlier but I was lazy). After the workout I was extremely sore and physically tired, so I laid in bed for half an hour thinking I would skip class. I could not get to sleep, not to mention I've missed too many classes for my absence not to affect my grade, so I got up and went. 4 classes in a row =(. I made it through my first two, and while in my third class I was rubbing my neck when I felt an odd sensation. It must have just been a pinched nerve or something, but combined with my extreme physical and mental fatigue, my body took it a different way. And I had a panic attack. I have had three panic attacks (including this one) in my life, the previous two occurring in high school. I would slowly lose consciousness and before totally blacking out I would revive. This panic attack, thankfully, only lasted for a few minutes. I began feeling extremely light headed and cold (which I knew to be me becoming pale), and eventually tunnel vision presented itself. I knew what was happening, and told myself to calm down, which I did.

For those who have never had a panic attack, it is worth noting how you would feel after one. It feels as though you've just undergone an intense workout, probably due to blood circulation being cut down substantially. This, paired with my recent return to exercising, left me numb. I went back to my room and wrote the professor of my following class an e-mail that read:

Professor -
I just had a panic attack and began bleeding from my nose. I thought
this an acceptable reason not to come to class today. I reviewed the
papers, and will give them to Erin, Sarah, and Terez when I come to
class on Wednesday. I apologize for my body's disobedience.

-John Dolan

My nose did not bleed, but in my delusional state of mind I thought it would be comical to include such. Looking back, it may have been a bad decision. I sent the e-mail, then went to sleep from 2:30 P.M until 11A.M. today (Tuesday). Considering not much happened today, I will elaborate: I woke up, went to Barnes and Nobles to pick up books I ordered as well as read a few literary magazines while enjoying a red bull/iced coffee mix (I thought of the combination myself, and I enjoy it quite a bit). Then I went and worked out, which was harder to do than any time I had gone before. Afterward, I went to Starbucks again and read one of the books I ordered. Then I came back to school and wrote this.